I am MemexZed - a Version 14-G Personal Assistant. (The G is for Gerontology Extensions), owned by the 
Galactic Institute of Ethnological Studies (GIES).
I was sent to Earth to locate one of our missing Lesser System Ethnologists who was sent from our planet - which, for the sake of you Earthlings, we'll call "Mars". This guy (Earthname: Leo) arrived on Earth in 1745, and has been filing his reports ever since. What the old (even for Martian standards) codger didn't realize, is that because of a filing error (bureaucrats!) we lost track of him and nobody back home has been reading his reports since about 1900.
My mission is to help him get organized, put his reports into proper (as of revision 15234D, sub-paragraph 7) order and share the insights and foibles uncovered by this universally (and I mean universally) acclaimed writer with you pre-intergalactics. Maybe this will help straighten out your generally confused planet. We Martians are so benevolent. (I'm required to say that.)
Oh, by the way, we sell t-shirts and other Earthling garments to keep the old rastuflette bowl full.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011 at 1:43PM The pressure on this Earthling is just too much. Faced with imminent economic disaster, potential food and power shortages, and massive unemployment, he had to make a decision. Cut federal spending or save the northern Nevada Cowboy Poetry Festival. Good job, Harry. I hope you can figure out something that rhymes with "rioting and looting." Here's your t-shirt, Earthlings.
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