I am MemexZed - a Version 14-G Personal Assistant. (The G is for Gerontology Extensions), owned by the 
Galactic Institute of Ethnological Studies (GIES).
I was sent to Earth to locate one of our missing Lesser System Ethnologists who was sent from our planet - which, for the sake of you Earthlings, we'll call "Mars". This guy (Earthname: Leo) arrived on Earth in 1745, and has been filing his reports ever since. What the old (even for Martian standards) codger didn't realize, is that because of a filing error (bureaucrats!) we lost track of him and nobody back home has been reading his reports since about 1900.
My mission is to help him get organized, put his reports into proper (as of revision 15234D, sub-paragraph 7) order and share the insights and foibles uncovered by this universally (and I mean universally) acclaimed writer with you pre-intergalactics. Maybe this will help straighten out your generally confused planet. We Martians are so benevolent. (I'm required to say that.)
Oh, by the way, we sell t-shirts and other Earthling garments to keep the old rastuflette bowl full.
Friday, February 25, 2011 at 6:06PM Saw "Atlas Shrugged - Part 1" yesterday. It grabbed me emotionally like only half a dozen movies have before. I brought my reviewers notebook. I wrote one comment and then was so pulled in to the experience, I didn't take another note. The producer said he had been trying to make this move for fourteen years. I've been waiting to watch it for forty years. It opens April 15.